As The Moon Rises

As the moon rises I grow weary and tired of the distractions I force myself to go through just to distract my mind from thinking about you.

As the moon rises my heart builds up the courage and takes over.

But ..

I’m not allowed to close my eyes before bed, and picture you beside me.

I’m not allowed to picture your face, and that look you get right after we kiss.

I’m not allowed to think about how your lips taste of coffee and cigarettes.

Thats not my right.

I am in mourning, but do not know how to mourn.

And I can’t help but feel the cold breeze go through that empty hole you left in me.

My whole body shuts down when I think about you.

I am an empty soul without you.

I have no purpose in life without you.

So here I am sitting with my frustration floating around me.

How did you not see the fire in my eyes every time I looked at you.

How did you not feel my heart skipping every time I caught a whiff of your scent.

How did you not see the joy on my face every time I heard you talk, or simply saw your face.

Nothing convinced you of my love for you.

Nothing convinced you of the mountains I would move for you.

Nothing convinced you of the blood I would shed for you.

And now, here I am shedding tears of blood for you as my new nightly ritual before I go to sleep.


I still keep my phone on in case you ever called.