The Truth About Depression

Trying to explain to some one what depression is, is like trying to explain how the earth was created.

The truth is .. I would trade a limb in my body just to get rid of that cloud over my head that comes unannounced, and takes with it pieces of me when it leaves.

The truth is .. I would trade anything for the people I lost from this disease. To feel a sense of belonging somewhere, to never feel this lonesome that haunts me every day. 

 

How can you help some one when you cant even pick yourself up from the floor ? 

I have never felt how strong the earth’s gravity was before this. 

Sucking you into a deadly abyss with darkness all around you.


How do you come back from that ? 

How do you start a conversation after that ?

I feel at a loss for words, when my head is filled with novels that keep me up at night. 


When you finally smile or laugh and start enjoying your time, when this skin, these flesh and bones finally feel like they belong to you, your brain zaps and tells you wait.. 


You’re not supposed to be happy.

You’re not supposed to be having fun.

You’re supposed to be sad and drowning in anxiety.

You’re supposed to be broken.

You are broken.


Our mind is our worst enemy.


The truth is .. It scares me.

I don’t know when the next attack is gonna happen.


Panic.

Shivering.

You wanna scream but nothing comes out.

You open your mouth.. Silence.


Panic.

Twitching.

You cant stop your heart from racing.

It feels like your chest is about to explode.


Panic.

Tightness.

Why cant I just scream.

Nothing comes out.

Silence.


Panic.

Panting.


The truth is .. I would rather explain how the earth was created than try and explain this disease. 

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